Category Archives: OCD

Ode To OCD #1 — Fractured Faith Blog

From the folks at Fractured Faith Blog.

I know what this feels like.

You let me binge And now I’m singed Unhinged. Swinging from the gallows that I constructed for You. As you look on The idle god of all you survey. You smile As I decay Dismayed and flayed. Splayed in my grave Of rotating routine.

via Ode To OCD #1 — Fractured Faith Blog

The Healing Power of Dogs

I don’t always know what to do with all the media options available to us now.  It’s a contradiction, I know, because I have very recently complained to friends and to myself about the lack of good things on the internet.  I’m always skating very near the edge of the end of internet, like Francis Fukuyama with much smaller stakes.

Then I find myself as wrong about communication as he was about history.  The cycle hums, the weekend comes, and these days are yours and mine, these happy, happy days.

I have OCD, so sometimes I get stuck in loops.  Sometimes I’m just loopy.  But what happens is this: I fall in love with WordPress or Twitter or Reddit for awhile.  I start again with poetry and prose.  By the time I go to bed I’m embarrassed by my enthusiasm.  There’s some kind of chemical remorse for having celebrated life.

Which is odd, because this is not how I live any other part of my life.  There are loops and loopiness, but never nagging guilt at having spent time on good things.  It’s tough for me to figure out, though I understand some of it.  A lot of it has to do with sometimes just not wanting to be bothered.  OCD is an anxiety disorder, and there are others, and if you have them, you know they love playing with each other.

This morning I was sick.  I had plans to write and work and clean, but my stomach felt in a mood to drive the balance of the action.  I laid down, and my German shepherd and my cousin’s beagle, whom I have adopted, laid on top of me and let me sleep for hours.  The sick part of feeling sick never, ever came.  The healing power of dogs.

Nothing against cats or their people.  My cat has done this, too.

Rested and busy (busy writing, busy reading, busy with the details of ministry and business and all the snow we’re having) I have today seen some great things on my WordPress feed, and so I share them.  One is a poem by Robert Okaji.  Another is this drawing by Luther Siler. He was sick today, too, but drew a fox, and it is awesome.

The healing power of (goats and cats and) dogs.

 

 

 

 

Did Jesus Have an Anxiety Disorder?

Food Truck Pastor Podcast Episode 4 is up and running. Episodes 5 and 6 are in the can and look at the “nuclear option” in the Senate/the Biden rule, and EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt respectively. I’ll post Ep 5 tonight or tomorrow. In the meantime, I’d be interested in your food back on Episode 4.

Blessings!

Karma Police

police-869216.jpg

I love that song. I love the video.  I love everything about it.  The car. The spooky headlights. The words, the way Thom Yorke sings it, everything.

A few years ago I heard or read Bono talking about the Christian idea of grace, which he says is the opposite of karma.  Karma is about the balance sheets and grace is supposed to be about ripping them up.  If you’re like me and struggle with anxiety, even the freedom of grace can feel like karmic obligation.  I know that’s strange.  I don’t always feel that way.  But managing and overcoming my obsessive compulsion means looking at my own feelings and actions more closely than is often comfortable.  I believe in grace, but sometimes I let my brain chain me to things my heart knows are silly.  I don’t believe in karma, but sometimes I let my brain say “well, just in case…”

Also, “Creep.”